silent.night
12:02 AM | Author: xteEn.ü
Christmas come, Christmas go.. Some may be happy, while others may not.. Christmas is a season everyone celebrates during December 25, also called Christ's birthday.

I always get excited whenever Christmas comes. We would have our family gathering at my grandma's house at December 24, enjoy the Christmas party, go to the church together, and wait 'til 12:00am strikes. Then we eat pray, eat together, we sing, we dance, we PARTY!

That's what we used to.

I don't know what happened now. :(

December 24, around 9:00am, we went to Holy Gardens Cemetery with my grandma to visit my Lolo's mound. Just as we arrived, of course, we greeted my grandpa, "Hi, Lo.! Merry Christmas.!ü". We were just starting our prayer when a strong blast of wind came against us. My dad said, "Uy.! Si Lolo ninyo na". He was lighting candles that time, and he found it hard to do it because of the strong wind, so he said, "Hinay-hinayi sa gamay ang hangin, Pa, para ma-light na namo ni". Goosebumps ran down my spine because the strong wind really stopped! But i wasn't scared at all, because that time, I realized that he was always beside me.. beside us.. He never did, and never will leave us.. We love you, Lolo! And we miss you..

We went back home after that so we could prepare for the Noche Buena, and take a little rest.

I think it was 8:00pm that day when we went back to my grandma's house to celebrate the Holy Mass. When we arrived, no family members were present in the house, so my father thought they went to the chapel, and waited for us there. And yes, my dad was correct. My Titos and Titas, and my cousins, too, were waiting for us there.


-M A S S - - - M A S S-

The Mass was done. Each family slowly left the chapel. Only the CYM (Catholic Youth Ministry) members were left, including me and my 2 cousins. So after putting the tables and chairs back, we went home, too. Ate Kay (my cousin) suddenly whispered to me and said, "'Di ko alam kung ano'ng mangyayari sa Christmas ntin ngayon ba". I was shocked by what she said. And I asked why. Then she replied, "Tingnan mo, 'di tayo kumpleto". Oh yes. I just remembered, we're not complete at all. We haven't even prepared our Christmas party, even the exchanging of gifts. :( Only 3 families were there. It was supposed to be 5, or 6, or 7. (Some family members were out of the country).

Before, during Christmas eve, my grandma's house was always full of "makukulit" kids (my cousins), loud noise coming from a rented karaoke machine, and gifts under a simple christmas tree. But now, not even a Christmas tree was there. :(

With a wine and a little "pulutan" me and Ate Kay continued our conversation. She said, "Nami-miss ko na si Pot-Pot". Pot-Pot is our little cousin, who, at her very young age, experienced a broken family. She even witnessed how her Mom used to quarrel with her Dad, which led to misunderstandings, and break-up. Now, her Mom has a new husband, the same as his Dad who found his new wife. I feel pity of her. :( Ate Kay told me, "Tinanong ko man siya, Sweet, kung nagkikita pa ba sili ni Daddy niya. Sabi ni Pot-Pot, oo daw, sa school niya. Pero 'di alam ni Tita". :(


We went home early, still longing for the Christmas celebration we used to do.


But before that night ended, before I went to sleep, I had a chance to talk to my Dad and ask what was really happening between our family. He explained EVERYTHING to me. And he told me, "Ana jud na. Life is bitter, but sometimes sweet. That's life. We tried everything to make this Christmas perfect, but ing-ani jud sya. This is God's will. And everything happens for a reason. but for me, this not to be sad, but to realize our mistakes, too, as elders, and as your parents. Sige lang. This is not the end. We will be together again. God will make a way, and remember, Lolo is always there.. always HERE. He won't let bad things happen, ok.? Ayaw na 'to isipa. Think of tomorrow.. As of now, goodnight na and Merry Christmas, anak".

I cried hearing those words. I never thought my father was also affected of what happened. I felt the hurt he's feeling.

And again, I cried, and fell asleep. There ends my saddest Christmas. My saddest Christmas, I hope. :(

the.REAL.key.to.success
5:10 AM | Author: xteEn.ü
If you don’t mind, first, I’d like to share my “school stories” before I give my opinion/s about what teachers really are.. But if you don't want to read it, well read the last two paragraphs…

I was still young when I started going to school. I was three years old then, and smart enough that I always receive awards during recognition. I’m an honor pupil (before).ü As a kindergarten student, my “world” used to be colorful. With butterflies around, flowers, trees, etc.. Teachers would teach you ABCs, 123s, draw and write, add and subtract.. They taught me how to do that, and I was happy that I learned..

Elementary.. Grade1 was still more of ABCs, 123s, draw and write, add and subtract.. Grade2 was still the same though it was more challenging.. Grade3 was when I started knowing my friends BETTER.. Too bad, I transferred a school when I was in grade4.. Of course, I met new people, new environment.. It was hard for me because EVERY THING was really different.. My parents don’t give too much attention now.. They said I was old enough to know what’s wrong, and what’s right.. NO! I was still young.ü Months later, I was able to adapt, and everything went fine, ok.. I made new friends.. Grade5, damn! I really hated HKS here, and really loved MATH.. HKS talks MANY things about Philippine history, and MATH for addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. Fractions made it sooo interesting, challenging! Grade6.. First to third quarter, “graduation” was totally out of my mind.. Until one of my classmates BUZZed me about it.. I was like, “Whew! I almost forget about that!”.. Yeah, how come I forget about my graduation.? Stupidity..ü So grade6 was about “friendship never dies”, and “puppy love”. It was February when we started practicing for our graduation songs, line formations, speeches (for the honor students).. And here comes March, marching time.. Everybody seems to be so excited.. This was the first time we received a diploma.. We laugh, we cry, we fight/quarrel, we say “sorry”, we get together again, we laugh, we cry, and so on.. Memories will be kept forever.. Not on minds, but on hearts..

Highschool, ALL new. New school (for some), new classmates, new subjects, new teachers, new chairs, new tables, new CRs, new environment, new school uniform, new YOU! Our classroom was even air-conditioned. ü Everything used to be fine, but symptoms of being an adolescent strikes! Pimples, menstrual flows, etc.. (That’s for girls).ü this time, you won’t be able to go to school without a mirror, face powder and a comb with you.. I swear! Even boys does that.. Like those days in elementary, high school was still about read and write, add and subtract, many to mention!=) Real “barkada” starts here, unlike when we were in elementary.. On your class, there would always be this CLOWN who’ll crack jokes that would make everyone awake, even the teacher! I’m one of them, I was a clown at school..ü “Bonding” among friends was always present; talk and laugh on recess time, eat together at lunch, roam around the campus in the afternoon, and go to malls on weekends. I also do that! Haha.. On quizzes, its not “copy and answer” anymore.. Instead, its “copy the answer”.. Some sayings of high school students is “Share your blessings, specially at exams.” (Ang lupeeet! Pati exam, pinapatulan.ü) There’s still more! But its hard to specify it one by one.ü

Preparatory, elementary, and high school. All I learned was how to read, write, add, subtract, multiply and divide but of course, on different applications. Socrates was once a teacher of Plato, who became Aristotle’s teacher, who was also one of Alexander the Great’s teachers. However, how many Socrates do we still need to feed the young minds of our future Alexander the Greats? Teaching is not as easy as what we think. When you teach, you need to learn MORE than what you’ve learned when you were still studying.. Different teachers, different characteristics. Some may be boring, some are not. But as one, teachers only have one aim. When teaching you need to love your students, in order for them to love you, too.. Respect is not to be asked for, but to be gained.. But how.? Do you need to buy it.? No.. And I also don’t know.. Teachers are often misunderstood by students.. Why? Maybe because student are also misunderstood by the teachers.. Like, students don’t understand the reason why teachers burst out like hell everytime he/she sees a student talking at the same time with him/her.. And teachers also don’t understand why students just can’t stop talking.. Teachers stop teaching when the bell rings at 5:30 in the afternoon.. But it doesn’t end there.. they continue at home; they check test papers, they record, and make lesson plans.. And how much more if they have families? They do overtime.. But they are not paid for it.. Teaching is more than a profession..

I’d like to thank my teachers before, for teaching me how to read and write, add and subtract, and love and respect.. I’m so thankful that even if they haven’t taught me about something the smartest man knows, they’ve planted something in my heart that will tell me to continue fighting even though I failed many times. They taught me how o fight and move on.. They taught me how to stand up and rise everytime I fall.. I’ve learned so many valuable lessons which I can’t learn from my primary, secondary, or even tertiary schooling/studies.. Every thing I learned was all from them.. Them, who helped me pass my grades.. Now I can say that teachers don’t just teach, but they also give love and respect to us students, for him/her to earn respect too, wherein we just “takwil” it, as if we don’t owe something to him/her. Yes, we pay her through our tuition fees, but that’s not enough knowing that she has done almost everything to help you built better future..

"A B N K K B S N P L A Ko?!"
3:33 AM | Author: xteEn.ü
This "A B N K K B S N P L A Ko!?" is a title of a book, written by Bob Ong. He is a Filipino.ü (kalahi ko toh!)=))

So, i've read this book just this morning. And i was amazed, not only with the cover, but also with the content! I didn't expect it was this GOOD! This book tells about what usually happens on a student's everyday class. An elementary student, a high school student, a college student.. This book mirrors what a student does to his/her teacher when he/she gets bored, to her classmates, to everyone and everything! Ang kanyang mga kalokohan, atbp.ü

It was stated that this book was for the teachers, students, students before, students who hate schooling, drop-out, kick-out, transferee, cross-enrolled, and honor students..

Binigyang pansin dito ang kakaibang kaugalian ng mga estudyante, kung saan ay nangyayari na rin sa ngayon.. Mga kahirapan, ups-and-downs ng isang mag-aaral, "competiton", pati na ang paggiging teacher's pet.. Masarap sa pakiramdam ang maging teacher's pet. Lagi kang sikat sa klase. Lagi kang papanigan ng iyong guro. Ang nakakasama lamang ay 'yong mga "negative feedbacks" na sinsasabi ng iyong mga kaklase. Mga naiinggit mong kaklase.=) Speaking of "kahirapan", maraming mga studyante ang dumuranas ng kahirapan. Mapalad lamang ang iba sapagkat sila'y iskolar. Ngunit paano naman ang iba? Mananatili nalang ba silang mahirap, at uhaw sa tulong tulad ng libreng edukasyon na dapat ang pamahalaan ang nagbibigay? Mahirap sila't dapat na pagtuunan ng pansin.

Hindi rin maiiwasan na magkaroon ng competition sa paaralan. Nariyan ang mga honor students, mga taong tila nauubusan ng oras at nag-uunahan na maabot ang kani-kanilang mga pangarap.. Lagi silang may ginagawa. Busy. May appointment dito, may appointment doon.

Sa librong ito, nalaman ko rin na iba pala talaga ang high school sa college. "Gaguhan" pala pag college.. 'yon ang nabasa ko dito.=) Pero sa tingin ko, 'di yon tama. Ang lahat ay nakadepende sa'yo. Kung mag-aaral ka ng maayos, e di walang problema. Siguro'y madali lang sa'kin para sabihin iyon. Pero 'yon ang pananaw ko.=)

Ako ay isang high school student, at nag-aaral sa pribadong paaralan. Masasabi kong ako ay mapalad dahil hindi kami gaanong nagkakaproblema pagdating sa pera. Hindi naman kami mayaman.=)


Maraming salamat kay Bob Ong! May natutunan din ako sa mga sinulat nia. At simula ngayon, mangongolekta na rin ako ng mga akda niya.. Kayo din! You'll surely be proud to be Pinoy.ü
my.halloween.escape.ü
2:53 AM | Author: xteEn.ü

oops.! too late for halloween.ü
(sorii for the late post.ü)

November 1 is actually All Saints Day, not All Souls Day. It's different. But many of us go to cemeteries, visit their loved ones who passed away, and celebrate Halloween parties on the first day of November.

Anyway, my family does that, too. We go to Holy Gardens cemetery every first of November, and visit my beloved grandpa.ü We visit him once every month, but only on November1 that we stay there long, almost overnight.!ü

We arrived there for almost 5 in the afternoon. Too bad, i wanted to go there earlier.:( Off the car, we carried the tents off, pillows, and foods! haha. we arranged the things, and started praying. Then we ate our dinner. we were so full.! So me and my cousins managed to walk around and look for friends.ü That time, we already wore our "
witchy" costumes. At first, I thought we look so stupid.! and then after a while, we heard some people saying something. We were a little curious because they were looking at us.! They were smiling. We were shy, maybe they were laughing at us. But no.! Instead, they were enjoying looking at us. So, conclusion! Its our "witchy" costumes that made us attractive all throughout the night.ü So after roaming around, we went back to our place. We ate again.! we ate umm.. junk foods.ü unhealthy but, really tastes good! haha.

We enjoy staying there! It's like, we're having our little family reunion.ü We pray, we talk, we laugh, we eat, we play. That's what we did there last Nov1, 2008.

We were already praying here.ü
We were already praying here.ü
We were already praying here.ü
We were already praying here.ü
We were already praying here.ü
We were already praying here.ü
We were already praying here.ü
We were already praying here.ü

This is me and my cousins, my best friends. We were called "PANTiES". cute.. isn't it.? haha. lol. We really planned of what we should wear that time. There was a kid. She asked us for a picture and said we were pretty witches! haha. We were sooo overwhelmed.ü


Every people at Holy Gardens was busy. Others even lost their child/children.! tsk2. too bad..=(

PS.!
More of our Nov1 pictures at friendster.
Serach for
pantiesg@ymail.com
Please visit.!ü

i lost a world.
1:23 AM | Author: xteEn.ü

the day a lost a world, was the day i lost YOU. i never imagined this pain you gave me. i was a fool believing in your stupid lies. but i would never regret that. hearing those words, when you whispered "i love you" in my ear made me feel sooo happy that i could die. with you, every thing seems to be a dream, like those in fairytales. with you, i wish nothing but happy-ever-afters. ooh.! and one thing is what i've noticed.. why is it that when i'm with you, time just seems so easy.? so fast.? =(

you made PROMiSES. are promises really meant to be broken.? you told me once that you'll never let me go. you'll love me forever.. i felt happy when you said that.. but what happened now.? your promises are gone.. hell yeah i was fooled again.!

i know i made a mistake. and you made yours, too. even once, i never thought you could do this to me.

i don't know what to say anymore. my heart is full of anger, hatred. but LOVE is still there.

so this one, i made for you. always remember, you're always here in my heart.=(

Over For Now
I knew someday it would have to end
I knew eventually I would have to go back to calling you friend
It's killing me that now that day has come
If it's for the best then where is this pain from
I know deep inside that this is what I had to do
but it's breaking my heart to walk away from you
I'm trying my best to appear strong
but it's hard when part of me says that in your arms is where I belong
I still love you with all my heart
that's not going to change even though we're apart
You were my first love and my first kiss

There are so many of our special times I'm going to miss
All the words I ever said or wrote still hold true
But for now from a distance is where I'll be loving you
I think you need me as a friend to help you through
because there are things I can't control that are hurting you
We both have issues no one knows of
neither of us had the strength to be true to our love
Maybe we will be together again if it was meant to be
but for now please don't stop loving me
Even though I'm not your girlfriend I'll still be here
With a shoulder to cry on or a sympathetic ear
The story of love can be quicker than the blink of an eye
But our story of won't be over until the day that we die
Until We Meet Again

my.first.post.ü
3:01 AM | Author: xteEn.ü

WELCOME ME.!
This is my first post here, but not my first my blog (actually, this is my second..ü)

However, a good friend of mine, EiRVEN, once convinced me to make a blog site. I made this one, and i'm currently enjoying it.!ü I know, this blog site would be a good way of expressing myself; my feelings, etc.ü In short, this blog site would serve as my ONLiNE DiARY..ü

So thanks to EiRVEN for bringing me here..

This is Kristeen Angelie Girado. and i'd love to hear from you.ü

Keep reading, and be updated.ü
til tomorrow.ü