I always get excited whenever Christmas comes. We would have our family gathering at my grandma's house at December 24, enjoy the Christmas party, go to the church together, and wait 'til 12:00am strikes. Then we eat pray, eat together, we sing, we dance, we PARTY!
That's what we used to.
I don't know what happened now. :(
December 24, around 9:00am, we went to Holy Gardens Cemetery with my grandma to visit my Lolo's mound. Just as we arrived, of course, we greeted my grandpa, "Hi, Lo.! Merry Christmas.!ü". We were just starting our prayer when a strong blast of wind came against us. My dad said, "Uy.! Si Lolo ninyo na". He was lighting candles that time, and he found it hard to do it because of the strong wind, so he said, "Hinay-hinayi sa gamay ang hangin, Pa, para ma-light na namo ni". Goosebumps ran down my spine because the strong wind really stopped! But i wasn't scared at all, because that time, I realized that he was always beside me.. beside us.. He never did, and never will leave us.. We love you, Lolo! And we miss you..
We went back home after that so we could prepare for the Noche Buena, and take a little rest.
I think it was 8:00pm that day when we went back to my grandma's house to celebrate the Holy Mass. When we arrived, no family members were present in the house, so my father thought they went to the chapel, and waited for us there. And yes, my dad was correct. My Titos and Titas, and my cousins, too, were waiting for us there.
-M A S S - - - M A S S-
The Mass was done. Each family slowly left the chapel. Only the CYM (Catholic Youth Ministry) members were left, including me and my 2 cousins. So after putting the tables and chairs back, we went home, too. Ate Kay (my cousin) suddenly whispered to me and said, "'Di ko alam kung ano'ng mangyayari sa Christmas ntin ngayon ba". I was shocked by what she said. And I asked why. Then she replied, "Tingnan mo, 'di tayo kumpleto". Oh yes. I just remembered, we're not complete at all. We haven't even prepared our Christmas party, even the exchanging of gifts. :( Only 3 families were there. It was supposed to be 5, or 6, or 7. (Some family members were out of the country).
Before, during Christmas eve, my grandma's house was always full of "makukulit" kids (my cousins), loud noise coming from a rented karaoke machine, and gifts under a simple christmas tree. But now, not even a Christmas tree was there. :(
With a wine and a little "pulutan" me and Ate Kay continued our conversation. She said, "Nami-miss ko na si Pot-Pot". Pot-Pot is our little cousin, who, at her very young age, experienced a broken family. She even witnessed how her Mom used to quarrel with her Dad, which led to misunderstandings, and break-up. Now, her Mom has a new husband, the same as his Dad who found his new wife. I feel pity of her. :( Ate Kay told me, "Tinanong ko man siya, Sweet, kung nagkikita pa ba sili ni Daddy niya. Sabi ni Pot-Pot, oo daw, sa school niya. Pero 'di alam ni Tita". :(
We went home early, still longing for the Christmas celebration we used to do.
But before that night ended, before I went to sleep, I had a chance to talk to my Dad and ask what was really happening between our family. He explained EVERYTHING to me. And he told me, "Ana jud na. Life is bitter, but sometimes sweet. That's life. We tried everything to make this Christmas perfect, but ing-ani jud sya. This is God's will. And everything happens for a reason. but for me, this not to be sad, but to realize our mistakes, too, as elders, and as your parents. Sige lang. This is not the end. We will be together again. God will make a way, and remember, Lolo is always there.. always HERE. He won't let bad things happen, ok.? Ayaw na 'to isipa. Think of tomorrow.. As of now, goodnight na and Merry Christmas, anak".
I cried hearing those words. I never thought my father was also affected of what happened. I felt the hurt he's feeling.
And again, I cried, and fell asleep. There ends my saddest Christmas. My saddest Christmas, I hope. :(
4 comments:
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gi basa ko po ma...
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Hi there! :)
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any ideas?